Friday, October 2, 2009

one two three four five who the fuck is counting


Back in the good ole days, Mahatma Gandhi gave his list of blunders to his grandson Arun Gandhi on a piece of paper not too long before his assassination.
* Wealth without work
* Pleasure without conscience
* Knowledge without character
* Commerce without morality
* Science without humanity
* Worship without sacrifice
* Politics without principle
This list grew from Gandhi's search for the roots of violence. He called these acts of passive violence. “Preventing these is the best way to prevent oneself or one's society from reaching a point of violence.” To this list, Arun Gandhi added an eighth blunder, Rights without responsibilities.
If this lingo seems too proper for my column it’s because I’m quoting from wikipedia.com.

Anyway, I thought it was time I came up with a list of me own dam blunders. Calm down everyone, I don’t mean to start a riot by comparing myself to Mr. Gandhi; I just wanna come up with something I can relate too. “Yup, stop cursing in the background I’m trying to write here.”
Let the games begin:
The re elected Bush
WHAM!
Botox
Laserdisc
Ejector seats for helicopters
Decaf coffee
Pin striped Safari Suits
Synchronized water ballet
Masala Peanut Butter
Toupee
Miniature Pomeranians
Work without wealth
Ultra mild slim cigarettes
Sugar free / fat free anything
Camouflage Billboards
Glow-in-the-dark Suntan Lotion
Re run reality shows
Viagra
Waterproof towels
Underwater golf tournaments
The terms “metrosexual” “fab” “rocking” “killer”

Hee hee.. stopping at seven seemed impossible.

My hero Elvis found out about my list and decided to email me his top 7 contribution.
Uppers without downers
Responsibilities without pleasure
Prescriptions
Grandma undies
Item numbers wearing white jumpsuits
Diet plans
Elvis impersonators

It’s very easy making lists and writing utter nonsense for the sake of entertainment. It’s very easy reading the paper and discussing gossip. It’s very easy pointing fingers and calling names. These perhaps are the blunders all humans are guilty of and will not make any list because honestly nobody gives a dam.

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